bullet proof bra
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
and it don't matter to me, cuz all i wanted to be was a million miles from here. somewhere more familiar
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Depending on the weather, some plantings may reach a harvestable size in fall and then go dormant until spring. Other plantings may not germinate in fall but wait until late winter to start growing.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
man....after eight years of recording some things in livejournal...you can just call me mom. mama bianca sounds cute, but mom will work :D
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
how. did i get so lucky? i really dont know, and i forgot about how i used to feel that way all the time, and that i just didnt deserve it. i was reminded again today just how lucky i am with all the wonderful people i have in my life, and all the wonderful people i've met. i still dont deserve it, but good god am i blessed. its getting easier and easier to remember that too. i knwo i almost always post when i'm down. but. things are amazing. and i'm fucking lucky.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
so apparently i'm more upset than i thought i'd be about not being able to viset al.
makes me mean to keith (whom i'm still with.)
and i dont even feel bad.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
here i am...typing from keiths house.
although, i suppose i should be writing from my house.....
that is my my yearly update in livejournal.
until next week.
its pouring out. floooooooded.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
8:17PM - found
Yard Full of Blondes-an independent film that I auditioned for today. It is about a farmer who looks after and tends to a field of corn, only the corn stalks aren't green, they are peach. The heads of corn do not have husks, they have golden hair. The corn itself has eyes, a nose, a mouth and can speak. These blonde stalks need their nails shined, hair combed, and skin moisturized. I was immediately hired for this film that is shooting this weekend in the Catskills (which is where I went to college at Bard).
I am very familiar with a field of blonde...not human blondes like in the film, but a field of golden corn that tastes the best when you eat it raw right off the stalk. Sometimes, there are some meal worms and caterpillars that infest the tops of the head of corn that you have to watch out for before eagerly chomping away at this super sweet corn that I used to fill myself up on. This "supah sweet cowan" was and is grown on the fields of Freitas Farm in Middleboro, MA.
Yes, I am a farm girl...or was. I got the job working on a farm when I was in junior high through a friend who lived on the same street as Dave Freitas, the owner of this farm. I met David one morning when I was having a sleep over with my good friend who lived on Wood St., and because she had to go to work on the farm the following morning, she decided to ask him if I could come to work that day, too. He seemed a little disgruntled at first that he was going to have to pay another worker for the day, but he made sure that I was going to earn this money with a capital E. You'd think that at 5 dollars an hour, he wouldn't stress as much as he did, but later on, I found out that he just liked playing the role of the boss who took pride in increasing the prolificacy of the group of teenagers, the one Mexican George, and the one lady in her late forties who together created the work force of Freitas Farm.
Dave looked down at me through his thick glasses from the light blue and rust Ford farm truck (which I would later get stuck driving from the blueberry field over to the watermelon field many times before I had my license...without power steering and without a cleared path from one field to the next...I learned to off road at an early age) and announced, "I have 100 bushel baskets. I am only going to pay you if you fill all of these baskets my 6:00 PM tonight." Now, I thought that I saw a hint of a smile in the depths of the tunnel in his right pupil, but I wasn't sure. I didn't say a word. First off, I didn't know that I was going to be working from 6 AM to 6 PM. I thought this was supposed to be a part time job. I actually took this ultimatum with seriousness and considered it my initiation.
Boy, did I get sunburnt that first day. I worked so hard. I ended up filling up 40 baskets. He eyed me disapprovingly and said that was about half what his son who works on the farm can pick. I realized later that he was just giving me a hard time because he liked me. Oh, and I got paid even though I didn't pick 100. I had raw hands that smelled like onions for a week. You think that your fingers smell like onions after cooking with them? Try pulling them out of the ground for seven hours!
I still can't believe that I did that in high school. I really think it contributed to my workaholism in a way that allows me to have tunnel vision..all the whilst being sane. You have to have a sane tunnel vision to pick veggies out of the ground for that long. I remember I used to dream about whatever the last food was that I picked that day. I remember being out in the blueberry field, closing my eyes for a second, and seeing blueberries on the backs of my eyelids! Now that is maddening!
My sister ended up working for him, too. Both of us are workhorses. We would out-pick, out-lift, and out-sell any other worker on that farm. We became the best sales people at the farmers markets in and around the greater Boston area. (Boy was it a trip the first time that I drove a 20 foot farm truck right after getting my license at age 16 and 1/2-lets just say that there is a bank in Bridgewater that got an un-asked for hedge trimming while I was turning around in their drive-thru because I got lost going to a market-ooops) The good news is that, now, I am an excellent driver from driving those fat farm trucks. I have driven U-Hauls many times in Jersey and New York with no problem..in fact, my boy was pleasantly surprised when I raced up and down the west side highway to move from Bushwick Brooklyn to Inwood.
The worst part about working at the farm was the rotten swill pile. David would usually let the swill compile, and then he would bring it out to the lone cow that lived in the woods (that, no, I never milked, thank you very much). The pile of disgusting rotting veggies would be waiting in the barn for the person who maybe just didn't quite cut it for the day. But, then main reason that he would dump someone in the swill pile was because it would make him laugh uncontrollably...like the time that he put a snapping turtle underneath my driver's seat in my little Ford Escort..he laughed for days about that! He would conspire with my sister if it was my turn. I usually knew when it was about to happen, but there was not much I could do about it. They would just pick me up and throw me into the pile! Of course, I would immediately jump out and start throwing all of the rotten veggies that I was now wearing as a suit of armor back at my enemies. This would usually start a rotten food fight (in the summer, this happened at least once a week).
Oh, the days of working on the farm. I still go back there and visit when I am able, but now that my mom sold her house in Middleboro, I am not there too often. Sometimes, Dave's son (who Dave claimed to be the master of picking and selling-though I never saw the proof) throws a fourth of July party in the fields of Freitas Farm chock full of fireworks, beer, and all of the fresh fruit and veggies that you can pick.
Good times bad times you know I had my share.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
10:02AM - yea quizzes
What Your Easter Egg Says About You
You are truly optimistic, open, and hopeful.
And your optimism gives you the courage to live life adventurously.
You love new experiences, ideas, and challenges.
You see life as a fluid, growing process.
this is probably the most accurate one click test ever
Unusual and uncompromising.
You're usually the first to discover a new trend.
You appreciate a good meal and good company.
You're an interesting blend of traditional and modern.
i just like the idea of being a meatball pizza...
Your Boobies' Names Are...
You're Kind of Stupid
You got 8/10 questions right!
There's some things most people know... except for you.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
as a fairly "low maintenance" girl, i sometimes grow a little insecure around the "high maintenance" variety, and am always pleased to find out this type is generally a huge pain in the ass to be around. like when al went to bonnaroo some people one year, and then the next year, i was comparatively better in that sense. this year, keith just came back from daytonas' bike week, and i'm happy to hear that this girl that went (granted, she's this dudes girlfriend, but i guess she's this dudes "hot" girlfriend, if youre into that kinda thing) and she made it pretty difficult to get out and do anything, seeing as though she needed an hour and a half for shower needs, and then more time on top of that to make sure every hair was in place and whatnot just to leave for the day.
i love my computer setup.
things that are coming up that i need MONEY for.
i hope that our tickets for coachella ( I CANT FUCKING WAIT) werent stolen.
i thought i had more to write. keith is back, and i needed that week vacation from him. it showed me that i'm ready to be a girlfriend. this is the healthiest relationship i've been in since i was 17. literately. and i'm not using the word literately in the loose sense, i mean it in its exact definition. i have not had a healthy, we are good for each other, i wonder what my ex is doing, i hope hes not screwing me over boyfriend in a very long time.
the apartment is great, work is great, al is great.
everything is great.
i'm going to play some halo.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
i am so tired.
i need an edit/undo button.
i dont know what i'd use it on. maybe i need an "enhance image color" option.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
good morning world.
i've been up for an hour and a half now. its 6 30 now. i like being up early.
i had a weird saddish dream the other night, it involved taxes....but there was this man who either exloded once, or kept exploding...i cant remember. or, its more like, you know how things that happen in dreams are just on a different level or reality? meaning, i couldnt tell you if he exploded more than once.
i dont know. i'm getting off track. anyway. so, it turned out he was made of metal. and i was like "woah. he's bionic." and then i asked whoever i was with (kind of incredulously, kinda saddly) why he never claimed that for tax deductions.
i dunno. its weird bacuase its sad.
i wish that brian would get up. i thought he had to leave for like, 7. i'm wanting to go lay back down now and sleep....sleeeeeep....sllleeeeeppppp!!!
but i'm bringing him to work this morning, in case i'm wondering in the future what my problem was. oh. did i meantion i got my car back last week?
oh, and i'm having the best winter since i started the farm. work and money are comming easy so far.....i finish coving for the abbys dishwasher friday, then saturday i train for the floor. then monday, tuesday, friday and saturday i waitress the night away, wednesday and thursday i work on le farm.
i brought up the notion of working less hours to david the other day. i thnk i'm really going to have to make sure i help him move along with this to make it work....but i think it could....hiring people with AT LEAST half a brain (i really just dont know what process leads him to hire the morons he does) train them for markets...get resumes....check references maybe? people with sales experiance? but i've gotta push it. otherwise i'm just going to wind up with a guilty conscience....becuase i'm just not working 75 hours a week again.
david actaully asked me "well, what are you going to do with your time??" when i told him i needed to cut my hours this year....
well. i thought this was going to be a short entry. yea typing.
my foot's asleep/
Monday, January 28, 2008
.....i just want someone to save me....i'll always be there when you ache so stay with me and i'll it made. and i dont understand why i sleep all day and i start to complain that theres no rain. and all i can do is read a book to stay awake, and it rips my life away, but its a great escape. all i can say, is that my life is pretty plain. you dont like my point of view. i'm insance. its not sane. i jsut want someone to save me. i'll always be there when you ache. you know i like to keep my cheeks dry today...so stay with me nad i'll have it made. yeah i'll really gonna have it made.
12:33AM - oh the places you can go
so...i have rather vivid dreams 70 percent of the time.
recently i've had two dreams with in about 3 nights about being a male. the fist one i think i was older, and last night i was a really young boy. anyone know a good site where i can look up what this might mean? like, what my brain might be trying to....think, or something?
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
so its been quite a while since i've posted anything in here....so its time to give me a nice lil update on where i am right now.
!) still living in fall river with albert and brian. in our beautiful apartment. we just took the christmas tree down the other day....its been over a year since we moved in, and i dont know if i even wrote all that much in here since then.
@)no one in the house has a car at the moment. als broke down and he really has no way of getting to it what with the working all the time and whatnot. brian was in an accident and getting his car situation situated has been no easy matter...and my car was stolen. again. we have bad carma. heh.
#) however, i'm most likely getting a car on friday. a jetta. it was 1000 dollars, but keith got it to 800.
$) who's keith? he's. my. boyfriend. i've been seeing him for about a month now. "officially" for a couple of weeks or so. i actually adore him, and other than when i'm talking to myself or worrying about the consequences of "saying it out loud" i dont think i have to worry about trust issues or anything of the sort. he's the guy who sold al his car, about 10 months ago. out of the blue at a poker game, his buddy and a friend of mine told me he thought i was cute. i had no idea who he was talking about, but i was lonely, and a little buzzed, and told him to call me up. i pretty sure i cant believe my good fortune in meeting this guy.
%) i just applied for a "real" job on a farm. as in, it pays based on experience, and can lead to a full time position with benefits. i love working on the farm i do now, i really do, but its just too unsteady, and in the summer, the hours are too much. i cant do it anymore. even if i dont get this job, i'm going to be starting to look for something else. i just really, really *really* really want this one. really.
^) for future look backage, my circle of friends include albert (of course) brian, flavio, jamie, keith, and david (my boss)
ummm. i guess thats it. this is a pretty boring update, but the best part of keeping a journal is looking back and seeing where you were at such and such a time. and if i dont update, i'll have a pretty hard time looking back.
it's 6 40 am, and its probably going to be another hour before i manage to fall back asleep.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
8:53PM - oh, its haiku time
and the best for last. (even though, as al pointed out, its 7-8-7)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
my keyboard has returned
i just got back from bonnarooo a few days ago, and it was amazing.
its changed my life? it changed it for now anyway. i almost have more open eyes, and a a sense of purpose, and a HUGE sense of self. who i am, which was greatly encouragd by the people that i went with. it was flavio, jenny, albert and myself, and never once did i have a need to feel awkward, or alone, or silly.
i think i found a greater good. it was overwhelming, oh yes. there were so so sooo many people. so many. and so much going on. next year, it will be different. perhaps more of a personal plan.
or maybe next time it wont be bonnaroo, it will be something smaller.
m happy to be back in the real world. i just hope that i keep finding people from that other reality as well.
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